No Doubt – Simple Kind of Life – The Singles 1992-2003

It would have been interesting if I’d written about this song at the time I was most obsessed with it. I haven’t been writing in here since I got to Australia, I have less free time than I did when I was studying in Taiwan so I suppose it’s to be expected, although the dramas have upped their pace so I have more to write about. But that also takes up a lot of my time, hah.

I had never noticed this song, even though I’d had it around for years, seeing as I’ve had this album ever since it came out. Then one day in November, I was in the bath and needed to use my ipod as a timer. So the next song that came on, I programmed to play 4 times. Simple as that.

And this was the song, and suddenly tears were streaming down my face, as I thought of how different things had been in 2002 when all I wanted was to have babies with V. How I used to wish for a mistake… and how I’d thought he’d be a good dad. I sat in the bathtub and cried as I thought of V out in New Zealand, living his simple kind of life, and how I could have it all, if I wanted; how I could just go out there and we could get married and I could have his babies and we’d live on a farm in beautiful, beautiful New Zealand. The truth was obvious: I’d left him because I was scared of committing to him, and wanted to sow my wild oats, but now the time was right, and I was back.

I couldn’t get in contact with him fast enough. I knew I loved him so much. I had Sunny Road on repeat in my head as I wrote to him, hoping that it wasn’t too late, that those two years we had spent apart hadn’t spoilt the love we had for each other.

Three days later I was on a flight to New Zealand. He had told me which coach to take, but in fact had come to pick me up as a surprise. When I saw him there, barefoot and wearing a little hat and so nervous and yet full of love, I jumped into his arms. Butterflies, they were still there… or so I thought.

It was bumpy but bearable in New Zealand, but I left after two weeks without the slightest doubt: I loved him, but it wasn’t meant to be. Then he turned up in Melbourne ten days later, and made my life hell for a whole month. It ended up with a fist fight and a screaming match, and I kicked him out, so glad to see him gone. It didn’t work out, I’m covered in shells.

And so I came back to this song, and listened to it carefully.

How did I get so faithful to my freedom? That isn’t a question of despair. It’s a song about coming of age, realising that the dreams I held as a teenager were irrational, no longer work for me. Yes, I used to dream of having kids and settling down, and I have changed, I have to state the facts: I am now so faithful to my freedom. I am no longer that person. It’s called growing up. Our relationship spanned 6 years; now it is over, that’s the end of the simple kind of life.

For a long time I was in love…
Not only in love, I was obsessed,
With a friendship that no one else could touch,
It didn’t work out, I’m covered in shells…

And all I wanted was the simple things,
A simple kind of life,
And all I needed was a simple man,
So I could be the wife…

I’m so ashamed, I’ve been so mean,
I don’t know how it got to this point,
I always was the one with all the love,
You came along, I’m hunting you down…

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight,
And all I wanted was the simple things,
A simple kind of life…

(If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?)

I always thought… I’d be a mom,
Sometimes I wish for a mistake,
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get,
You seem like you’d be a good dad…

Now all those simple things are simply too
Complicated for my life,
How’d I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things,
A simple kind of life…

~ by orange on February 18, 2008.