Rachel Sage – Sistersong – Morbid Romantic

I’m loving girls at the moment. I love them, and I love my sister, and I love the shared sisterhood and bonding between girls which you get nowhere else. This evening I met a wonderful girl, and I think she is absolutely amazing and I am hoping that we will be friends in Melbourne. She has given me the comfort and the reassurance and the friendliness and the overall… sisterly love and support that boys just can’t provide.

Last night I went out with a pack of boys and did my usual Scarlett Showdown. But tonight… the girls brought me so much more than the guys ever can.
Leaving Taiwan is bringing me a confidence, a freedom from men. I don’t want to get involved with any of them because I don’t want to relive an S. drama, don’t want to waste a year pining for someone — because I can’t be sure that won’t happen. Guys are throwing themselves at me and when they hit the glass wall, they get all butthurt and sad, and accuse me of thinking too much and making things complicated.

So it may seem to them. But this is the simple way out. My sisters and me.

This year was meant to be the year of the woman. I was 23, the age my mother was when she had me, I thought that it was the year where I would transition from girl to woman. It was the year of sex — of taking back sex, of getting rid of “fucking” and ending one night stands which left me feeling cheap and used. I have such high hopes for the next year. I’m going to throw my birthday party in a week, but in fact I will be celebrating the end of this year, my 24th year, which was not a bad year all in all, all years are good… but I will be shedding off the sadness and the dependance and the silent misery and the desperate hoping for a man to save me.

This is the year where my friends will come first. Last year my friends were behind me, propping me up, keeping me going. This year, the friends I haven’t even met yet, well they will come first. I am determined to have fun, to be happy and to not let anyone get in the way of my happiness. My new aim in life is not to find a man, it’s to make people happy, to be fun to be with. To have so many friends that I’ll never notice the boys.

Everybody’s looking over your shoulder
Seems they can’t wait to hear what’s next
Everybody’s saying she’s looking older
Could it be there is a cruel subtext to

All this endless adulation
All this reckless infatuation and

I will stay with you tonight in
Case this corset gets too tight and
I will keep you company cause
That’s what a sister should be

So they said it was the year of the woman
I believe it was the year of sex
Maybe this’ll be the year of the human
Maybe that would be a bit complex for

All these endless aberrations
From meaningful expectations and

I will stay with you tonight in
Case this corset gets too tight and
I will keep you company cause
That’s what a sister should be

Everybody’s looking under your mattress
Seems they can’t wait to find that pea
Maybe you were never quite the princess
Everybody was afraid you’d be and

All these endless presentations
Must affect your concentration so

I will stay with you tonight in
Case this corset gets too tight and
I will keep you company cause
That’s what a sister should be

~ by orange on July 22, 2007.